Has your loved one been diagnosed with a neurological condition, suffered a stroke or a head injury? Have you suddenly found yourself in the role of a 'carer' for your partner, child or your parent? Do you find that all the associated changes have taken their toll on your mental health and emotional well-being? Is it perhaps affecting your relationships?
Do you need some advice and help to deal with the situation?
If the answer is yes, you are in the right place.
Before we get into what this is about, let me tell you a little bit about where it’s coming from.
My background is in Conductive Education. As a conductor I specialised to provide rehabilitation for adults with different neurological conditions (Parkinson’s, Multiple Sclerosis, Cerebral Palsy, acquired head injury, stroke, dementia, to mention a few) and I also worked with children with Cerebral Palsy and developmental delays. I have 16 years of experience working with people with a condition and their families, believing in their ability to grow and showing them ways to regain their confidence, self-esteem and have a brighter, more positive outlook on life.
Over the years I have gained great understanding not only about how these neurological conditions affect people’s brain and body but all the emotional struggles and mental health issues that come with the diagnosis, the condition and everyday life itself.
Through working closely with the families as well as those taking part in the rehabilitation programme, I have gained a great insight about the struggles others go through; understanding that even though one person has the condition, people around them are living with it as well.
And it is clear that this puts just as much, and in some cases even stronger emotional toll on people caring for their loved ones as it takes on the actual person suffering from the condition. Be it their spouse, parents, children, or other family members, friends.
I am very passionate about providing much-needed emotional and mental support to all affected.
This is why I extended my practice and developed this programme to support people who suddenly found themselves in a situation where from a loving spouse or parent, they have become 'carers'.
Photo taken at NICE - Centre for movement disorders
Photo taken at The Rainbow Centre by Steven Phyall
Photo taken at The Rainbow Centre by Steven Phyall
Do you ever…
…get angry or frustrated at the situation or even with your loved one? Do you then find yourself getting angry, frustrated with yourself or even feel a little ashamed afterwards?
Do you find that your role as a family member has changed and it’s not exactly what you were expecting or have ‘signed up for’?
Do you ever blame yourself or your partner for things?
Do you ever get sad or fear what the future holds?
Do you ever question yourself or beat yourself up for not doing more, not knowing more, not being stronger, feeling like this or perhaps not wanting to do this at all …?
If the answer is yes to any of these questions, let me tell you:
It is absolutely normal!
A normal, human response to a situation you found yourself in. And it is OK to feel that you struggle with these emotions and feelings. You are not a bad partner, parent, sibling or friend for feeling this way. You are simply a human being with feelings.
It is natural to have emotions and feelings, positive or negative, attached to the events that have happened, are happening or will happen in the future.
Now, that we clarified that it is ok to be human and have feelings, let’s take a look at what other wonderful things we can do as human beings:
We can make decisions. And we get to decide how we want this to affect us
We may not have control over what is happening around us, but we very much have control over how we respond to those events and how we approach everyday life’s challenges. And we get to choose how we view the future and what we are moving towards.
Utilising this amazing gift, I have put together a programme to help carers (in search for a better word) better cope with the situation they found themselves in.
Let me show you what these sessions, specifically tailored to You, are all about:
- Listening to You, finding out what your circumstances are and what you would like to have happen for You instead
- Finding and developing strategies for you to be able to
- better manage every day’s challenges
- Deal with emotions associated with the new role and other aspect of your life
- deal with the anger, sadness, fear or guilt you may be experiencing
- cope with the changes the future may hold
- Building up your confidence self-esteem, and self-belief
- Learning why and how to give yourself permission to take care of You and
- Showing you techniques of how to do so
- Facilitating You to create a positive and bright picture of the future and move you towards it
- Improving Your quality of life and enhance Your emotional well-being
These sessions are about You and only YOU. Because You deserve it. Because You are worthy. Because You are a human being just like the rest of us.
Because you are just as important as they are!
So book in a free call now where we can discuss your situation, what you would like to have happen instead and how you can get there!
‘But I can’t spend time or money on ME. THEY need all that! I can’t be that selfish…’ – I hear you say.
Well, let me ask you this:
If the out of petrol sign or the engine light in your car kept flashing, what would you do? Would you keep riding it until it completely runs out of juice or the engine gives up for good? You wouldn't, would you? You would take it to the garage straight away to have it fixed or filled up, wouldn’t you?
And even, going before that, you probably take your car in for a service twice a year, just to make sure it is safe, in good condition and all is running smoothly..
You are the engine and the tank of You, your marriage, your children and your family. Are you going to let yourself break down? And what will happen then? And who will take care of them? Who will be there for them?
It doesn’t seem that selfish after all, does it now?
There is a reason for telling adults on an aeroplane to put their oxygen mask on first, isn’t there?
Plus, you must remember, that You and Your life are just as important as anyone else’s! And You deserve just as much TLC as anyone else!
Give yourself permission to be human and needing all that.
And if you are not sure how, book in a call and I’ll help you see things from a different perspective so you can figure out how to keep your engine running.
Peter has been the main carer for his wife with dementia for several years.
This is what he had to say about the NLP sessions with Vanda:
“Pleased to have discussed and received confirmation that the methods I use in dealing with difficulties are largely correct. I am more aware of the importance of my own health and well being.
Improved tolerance and understanding in dealing with apparently irrational and variable behaviour. I have made some progress regarding confidence in my ability to cope with any further deterioration of condition.
Talking about the problems and available techniques to deal with these has been helpful, particularly the value of using different perspectives. My knowledge has improved in depth and breadth.
In summary I feel more knowledgeable and able to deal with further changes to behaviour which is unpredictable, unexpected and difficult to understand. The sessions have caused me to question and test my reaction to some of the demanding situations I face.
Much food for thought has been provided and I can usefully build on my knowledge of the techniques discussed.
Altogether very useful. Thank you”
Is it difficult to get out of the house? I can come to you!
I understand that getting out of the house can be too much physical or mental effort and can increase levels of anxiety at times. So to help, I am more than happy to travel to you and hold your session in the comfort of your own home, where you feel safe and comfortable.
I will charge a small amount for petrol and time taken, depending on distance. (10 mile radius from my home: £25 and additional £5/5miles)
What is the 'Initial Consultation' and what should I expect from it?
Booking your Free Initial Consultation is quick and easy.
- Just choose an appointment slot on the day and time that suits you best.
- Fill in the required fields, knowing that your contact details will only be used to contact you regarding your appointment. Please use the comment section to give me an idea of what you would like us to work on. (No need for details at this point.)
- Click 'Complete Booking', and it’s done.
Once you booked your appointment, I will be in touch with a link to our online meeting.
This video call will take 30-40 minutes and is completely free of charge.
It will give us both a chance to get to know one another a little better; for me to understand your issues in greater detail and for us to determine whether we are a good match and ready to work together. If we are, then we will discuss the best way forward and make a plan for the future. If we aren't, then I'm going to do my best to sign post you to somewhere, where you might be able to get help.
What do you need to participate in the sessions:
- An open mind – the way NLP or Hypnotherapy works may feel a little strange to start with if you haven’t experienced anything like it before. Just bear with me and believe, it works!!
- Some level of communication so we can find out where you would like to get to and set your aims.
- Motivation and determination to make a change! This is very important! The only way I can help you achieve your desired outcome is if you are fully committed. This is something I will determine at your initial consultation.